boomer

Considering all the recent warnings about SPECS etc., please read an important message from "a friend"...

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's sent to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals) when I ran into a friend whose neighbour, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC.

Anyway, one day this friend went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive and infect all the electronics in his house if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"

He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all
last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his Missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped around a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS".

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green M&M's, but if you don't the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your wife will develop breast cancer from using the anti-perspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. government will put a tax on your e-mails forever. I know this is all true 'cause I read it on theInternet.

PS: Ironically it was also this poor fellow's wife who died after having had sex with a lobster.

---

Gulp!

mb

Blow Dog

lol,
excellent stuff!

This is so true. A message to all the Hoaxing Panicing newbies out there.

RonaldoH

Er, although this is a slight fabrication of an incident that happened once...it is something that the GMP (greater manchester police) had the pleasure of dealing with some time back.

On 4 different occasions, 3 males, and a female were found in the central manchester area having had their kidneys removed. GMP at the time were said to be liasing with Russian authorities as it was said that on the black market a kidney (healthy one) was worth in excess of £250,000 over there for some well off not so healthy kidney owning people....

Don't believe the Ice hype..but there was a spate of this....One chap was found in a park not 30 yards from my aunties house in Stockport around 4 years back I think....

Ronnie

Paul Wilson

Er Ronnie, can you supply names dates and descriptions? because a good friend of mine, who's name I can supply, whilst at medical school, did a talk on the falacy of "kidney removals"

Interestingly, no documented instances of this occur anywhere in the world. Plenty of people selling a kidney, but none of unknown persons kidnapping and removing kidneys without consent.

Of course to actually do it you would need to tissue match the person who's kidney you were stealing, you'd need the transplatee to be nearby, in a hospital, (organs don't last too well outside the body) you'd need a medical team, including a surgeon and anathetist. All very unlikely, much cheaper to buy a kidney of a willing seller in India, where kidney sales do happen.

IWatkins

All the above actually happened to me, but my kidneys were removed on a spaceship orbiting around Alpha Centuri before I was delivered back to my bath.

It all happened, honest.

Cheers

Ian