Snazy

Blimey this is a tough one to get my head around really but here goes.
Knocking on 70 now, and very negative towards seeing doctors and taking medication, let alone op's and treatements.

She has just come to see me to tell me she has found a lump in her breast, found a few months back, but just wanted me to know.

I have had a long chat with her about it, suggesting she needs to get it screened at least, so if there is anything she knows. More to the point, if she is going to refuse treatment, at least my sister can get some screening done etc too. Cancer has affected a lot of women in my family to date, hence I support cancer research.

Im not going to force anything upon my mum, she is old enough and responsible enough to do her own thing. However I know her cold shoulder towards things like this is also a front for fear, as i discovered with her COPD diagnosis a couple of years back, and her refusal for treatment for that too.

She tries to play the hard cookie but is usually just a little scared of treatment. Nothing unsual in that.

So now I am going to have to start arranging visits to the doctor, and further check ups, as well as bullying her into visits, checks etc that she is going to put up a fight about.

Just thought I would share that one with y'all.

If anyone has experience with a family member with breast cancer, or a friend, and has anything they can share about it, im all ears, and keen to get the right things done for her

FlightMan

Mine is exactly the same when it comes to the Doctors.

All the best to your Mum Snazy.

scoob_babe

Snazy - yhpm

MOK79

Sorry to hear that Snazy. I'm afraid I have had no experience. But wanted to send my best to you both

Snazy

Cheers guys

I have just spoken to a few cancer organisations to get advise as well as the local breast screening clinic.
Just about to go to the GP to get her an appointment tonight, so referal can be put into action asap.
What she chooses to do from there is anyones guess, but the important stages will be taken care of.

There are other implications to it all, even if she gets the confirmation and decides to do nothing about it, so whatever happens, this stage MUST.

MOK79

Whatever your mum decides, at least you have done your best to help her. If you know what I mean.

Good Luck Man

Snazy

Indeed Very much so.

There are a lot of factors to consider for me right now, he decision being one of about 10 that are spinning around in my lil old head.
Whatever the case, I am off to the GP now to see if I can get her an appointment for this evening for an urgent referral to the hospital or screening clinic.

Will of course update as I know.

GazTheHat

That's bad, hopefully the screening will rule out the bad news.

My ol' man is the same, stubborn fella when it comes to the docs etc. Wander what he'll be like in 20 years times....

Snazy

Said the same to her mate, that there are lots of things that can cause lumps not just cancer.
Keeping hopeful about it right now, time will tell eh

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

I'd turn it back on her.... what if you told her you'd found a lump down there and refused to go get it looked at. How would she feel? She has a responsibility to herself but also her family. See if you can get her looking at it a bit differently and she may be more willing to visit the doc.

All the best

MOK79

Snazy.... What about your old man ???

Turbohot

^What he said
All the best with it, Snazy.

stilover

Know how you're feeling Snazy.

My Gran Died last year of Cancer of the Lung & Stomach. The thing was, she'd been in pain for ages but decided to keep quite about it and not bother to go see a Doctor. It was only when she had a stroke and ended up in hospital did we find out.

Being told someone you love has cancer is not a very nice feeling at all.

Best wishes to your mam Snazy.

GONZO01

iTrader: (6)

Hear,Hear same from me mate stay positive.

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Just help her any way you can mate, good luck too your Mum keep us posted!!!!
Cheers
Colin

Lee247

Snazy, My Mum is the same age as yours and has just finished her treatment for the same thing. She had a lumpectomy and Radio and she has been amazingly positive throughout it all. At first she was the same as your Mum, but my Brothers and I just used gentle persuasion and thankfully she saw sense.
All my best wishes and if you need any help, just pm me

Sti_Prodrive

raa.. all the best man, i know what your going thru as ive had the same problem in my family too...

Snazy

Never really had much to do with him, died from heart disease a few years back now.


She is very laid back about things like that, and her distrust of health care leads her to just let people do as they please. Has been the same all the way through my arm issues etc.

Cheers mate. My nan died from a similar combo, as did my aunt. I think the aunt had 5 cancers before she finally died.

My daughters mums mother also died from breast and lung cancer. Hence my concerns for my daughter, and of course my sister.

Thank you. Nice (in some ways) to know someone who has been through the same. Was your mum sensible enough to do something early on? My mum says her lump has been there for months now, and is now very noticable externally.

Just walked to the doctors to get an appointment for the morning, but forgot they are close Wed afternoon! Doh
Will pop back there in the morning and make sure she gets seen tomorrow. Excellent way to spend your birthday eh lol

Just looking forward to getting the checks done and knowing one way or the other.

Thank you to everyone, your comments and support are appreciated

Lee247

Mum did not know it was there, Snazy she couldn't feel it. It was at the side. She had a routine mammogram and they thought they saw it then, so they sent her for a scan. That found it. She was in hospital within 2 weeks. Her treatment has been outstanding and I can't fault the hospital.
The lump could have been there for months for all she knows.
Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with, Mam finished her lot mid January and they are confident they have got it all. Fingers crossed

Snazy

Cheers mate
Mine found hers a few months back, quite noticable by then apparently. She lives by the "when I go, I go" rule. So refuses to go for routine checks for anything. When the COPD came about, I had to book appointments for her, and take her there, as she refused to bother with doctors, even though she could not breath.

Only this morning, just before telling me she got a letter for a routine bowel cancer check... tore it up and threw it away, saying "I cant be bothered with these things" Thats her usual response.

Hoping the family doctor who is damn good, will give her the push she needs.
Its got to the stage now when he will phone and ask me to be at the surgery and in with her when he sees her, in case she is lying or playing things down. Shocking eh lol

Spoon

From what I gather, Snaz, she came to you because although she doesn't like the thought of treatment and fuss, she'd like you to help her sort it. If she truly wasn't concerned about sorting it she'd have kept quiet.

Good luck.

Lee247

She sounds feisty and very independent, which is exactly the attitude that will get her through this.
Tell her you are going to take her shopping then cart her into the Quacks on the way

speedymonkey

Fingers crossed for you mate.

My Dad is the same when it comes to doctors/hospitals etc, he's really old skool like that, the old ' im fine, it'll go in a few days' mentally, when its obvious he just needs some antibiotics to help him out

After a life time of graft (he's is currently working 11 hour days, 7 days a week at 63 ) we have pretty much forced him to have a full medical at the quacks, something he has never done in his life, just to make sure he's still going strong, as just recently he's been quite ill and very run down, but he wouldn't dream of taking a day off for something as trivial as his health

Like you say, i recon it has alot to do with fear, and trying to hide it

Spoon

Lesley, sticking Chris Moyles in anyones bra should scare it off.

Lee247

I'll stick something in you if you don't watch out

I'll tell my Mum you said that

Snazy

Spot on mate, my understanding of it too. She told my sister a few days ago and her best effort has been "if you arrange an appointment or something I will come with you" Maybe thats why mum then told someone who would actually help !

As for getting her to the quacks, she will do as she is frickin told !! lol
Trust me, she is going

Me mum is 70 next week, still working, still picking my niece up from school etc, and seriously needs to start taking it easy. Thing is she is not very social, so I kinda let her keep herself busy as much as I can bare her to, so she does not just go insane.

Her having a full medical will happen only when she is on the slab sadly.
She is tired, grumpy, snappy etc, but still does not want to get checked out. We shall see about that

David Lock

Your mum might relate to this argument - which is mostly true by he way...

Breast cancer in the young is far more serious and aggressive. So not nearly so bad when you are older.

Progress in cancer treatment has moved on fantastically in the last 20 or so years and the image your mum has of cancer will be of a bygone era.

And, of course, it may not be anything more than just a bloody lump. atb, dl

Spoon

That's the spirit, pull her by the ears if need be. Oh and the description of her being tired, grumpy, snappy etc could be describing any female. That tells me she's functioning as intended, too.

Lee247

Snazy, excuse me please

SPOON

Snazy

Yup could be nothing, but til then its best to plan for the worst, anything less is a bonus

As for more serious when older, 50% of breast cancer deaths are for the over 70's
From Cancer Research UK

More than half of breast cancer deaths are women aged over 70
8 in 10 breast cancers are diagnosed in women aged 50 and over
Women with a mother, sister or daughter diagnosed with breast cancer have an 80% higher risk of being diagnosed with breast cancer themselves

Like I say, not wishing it on her, just facing what could be

Spoon, a unique way of getting your message across but I get it lol