"SPECIAL" Oil Change Procedure and other Horror Stories!
13 April 2005, 01:09 PM
#1
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"SPECIAL" Oil Change Procedure and other Horror Stories!
Isn't the Internet a great thing? You get to send the **** up the gullible with some well placed phrases ......... 'MAFs go regular' HORROR, SHOCK!
'A dealer told me that MAFs should be replaced every service' - I see, nowt to do with fleecing you for more money and playing on your fears then??
'Do the Oil change in a special way, cos these cars are special' - WTF??
The Oil Change according to the Old Ladies on here:-
1. Remove Oil Filler Cap, 'gently' - take at least 5 minutes or the threads will strip and the exhaust will fall off in a weeks time.
2. Carefully jack up the front of car, make sure that only the 'special' car jacking points are used or the steering wheel will be upside down next time you see it (the special jack points are only known to a select few, not the main dealers!)
3. Locate the Sump Plug, do this using an Inspection Lamp with a 100W bulb - do not, under any circumstances, use a bulb of lower wattage or the splash cover under the engine will melt and pieces will be sucked up into the MAF and then immediate engine failure will occur.
4. Undo Sump Plug whilst humming 'Oil Be Home For Xmas' - do NOT sing any other song or the Radio will never tune into any local stations again and the aerial will need to be replaced at the next service.
5. Allow Oil to drain into a Tupperware Perspex Jug - use only perspex as other plastics react with the old oil and particles travel back through the draining oil and attack the Big-End Bearings.
6. Whilst Oil is draining run around car 15 times in a Morris Dancing Outfit with the special Subaru bells attached to shoes.
7. Remove Oil Filter by unscrewing anti-clockwise 5 times, then clockwise 2 times, continue until filter is free ..... failure to do this will result in the new Filter not filling up with Oil on start-up.
8. Fill Oil Filter with Oil and screw new Oil Filter on and replace Sump Plug - there is some discussion about the order that these need to be replaced, many an evening in a B.O. smelling corner of a dark pub has been spent mulling over the merits of both choices ..... there is a 'special' way, but we are not sure what it is yet.
9. Start filling the engine with Oil - Synthetic only please!! and of course, Subarus need 'special' Oil - Mobil made a 'special' Oil just for us!!
10. Now it gets complicated, the engine start procedure ...... remove the spark plugs, coil packs and battery - remove the seats and rear boot/tailgate - ensure Octane Booster is removed from tank as it might spontaneously start the car when you are not ready - take the drive belts off - turn engine over, s....l....o....w....l....y - engine should be turned over at least 67 times to ensure adequate Oil film coverage.
11. Return all components and start engine whilst whistling the theme tune to TITANIC ................ if you are VERY lucky the engine will not shoot a con-rod through the block (this normally happens to MY96 cars which are MicaPink in colour) - but ALL Model Years can be affected equally as bad.
12. If the engine started without any problems, then don't be smug as the MAF sensor will blow up your engine within 3 days in any case!!!!!
OR, do as the Main Dealers do:-
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
'A dealer told me that MAFs should be replaced every service' - I see, nowt to do with fleecing you for more money and playing on your fears then??
'Do the Oil change in a special way, cos these cars are special' - WTF??
The Oil Change according to the Old Ladies on here:-
1. Remove Oil Filler Cap, 'gently' - take at least 5 minutes or the threads will strip and the exhaust will fall off in a weeks time.
2. Carefully jack up the front of car, make sure that only the 'special' car jacking points are used or the steering wheel will be upside down next time you see it (the special jack points are only known to a select few, not the main dealers!)
3. Locate the Sump Plug, do this using an Inspection Lamp with a 100W bulb - do not, under any circumstances, use a bulb of lower wattage or the splash cover under the engine will melt and pieces will be sucked up into the MAF and then immediate engine failure will occur.
4. Undo Sump Plug whilst humming 'Oil Be Home For Xmas' - do NOT sing any other song or the Radio will never tune into any local stations again and the aerial will need to be replaced at the next service.
5. Allow Oil to drain into a Tupperware Perspex Jug - use only perspex as other plastics react with the old oil and particles travel back through the draining oil and attack the Big-End Bearings.
6. Whilst Oil is draining run around car 15 times in a Morris Dancing Outfit with the special Subaru bells attached to shoes.
7. Remove Oil Filter by unscrewing anti-clockwise 5 times, then clockwise 2 times, continue until filter is free ..... failure to do this will result in the new Filter not filling up with Oil on start-up.
8. Fill Oil Filter with Oil and screw new Oil Filter on and replace Sump Plug - there is some discussion about the order that these need to be replaced, many an evening in a B.O. smelling corner of a dark pub has been spent mulling over the merits of both choices ..... there is a 'special' way, but we are not sure what it is yet.
9. Start filling the engine with Oil - Synthetic only please!! and of course, Subarus need 'special' Oil - Mobil made a 'special' Oil just for us!!
10. Now it gets complicated, the engine start procedure ...... remove the spark plugs, coil packs and battery - remove the seats and rear boot/tailgate - ensure Octane Booster is removed from tank as it might spontaneously start the car when you are not ready - take the drive belts off - turn engine over, s....l....o....w....l....y - engine should be turned over at least 67 times to ensure adequate Oil film coverage.
11. Return all components and start engine whilst whistling the theme tune to TITANIC ................ if you are VERY lucky the engine will not shoot a con-rod through the block (this normally happens to MY96 cars which are MicaPink in colour) - but ALL Model Years can be affected equally as bad.
12. If the engine started without any problems, then don't be smug as the MAF sensor will blow up your engine within 3 days in any case!!!!!
OR, do as the Main Dealers do:-
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
13 April 2005, 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted by pslewis
OR, do as the Main Dealers do:-
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
13 April 2005, 01:24 PM
#7
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Originally Posted by scoobfan
All bollix is'nt it Pete.
The only sure thing is to pre fill the filter, other than that
same as any other car mate.
Rob
The only sure thing is to pre fill the filter, other than that
same as any other car mate.
Rob
I don't think so ......... I can't see Farmer Giles in the Welsh mountains farting about with some fancy oil change for his boxer engine powered Subaru!!
Chuck Oil in and start the fooooker, give it a good blast up Snowdonia!!
The only difference is the Turbo - and thats not spooled up when you start the car following an oil change
Pete
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13 April 2005, 01:27 PM
#9
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Originally Posted by Bartop
Damn - nobody told me the bells on the shoes had to be special Suburu ones.
Will I have impacted my warranty ?
Will I have impacted my warranty ?
Either that or your MAF has DEFINATELY gone!!
Pete
13 April 2005, 02:20 PM
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I must admit I have to agree with Mr Lewis on this occassion. My MAF is on 53,000 and **** all wrong and never bother prefilling filter or any other pish! This forum is how do we say it particularly "****" at times !!!
Last edited by Moray; 13 April 2005 at 02:29 PM.
13 April 2005, 02:35 PM
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Originally Posted by pslewis
6. Whilst Oil is draining run around car 15 times in a Morris Dancing Outfit with the special Subaru bells attached to shoes.
Almost spat my lunch out with laughter at that one!
13 April 2005, 02:36 PM
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each to their own, but given you are giving up on factory warranty, what price does it cost you to be extra cautious and heed some advice that can't hurt?
I for one will laugh if your engine fails, but thats because you will deserve it for disparaging those who care for their cars!
I for one will laugh if your engine fails, but thats because you will deserve it for disparaging those who care for their cars!
13 April 2005, 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Chris Barn
3 scoobies in 6 years and the only MAP Censor I know of is the 1997 Mitchelin Road Map I hide my porno mags in from the wife....
And be honest, they're Scooby mags really aren't they!!!
EEt is diirty and you want eet!
13 April 2005, 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by pslewis
Isn't the Internet a great thing? You get to send the **** up the gullible with some well placed phrases ......... 'MAFs go regular' HORROR, SHOCK!
'A dealer told me that MAFs should be replaced every service' - I see, nowt to do with fleecing you for more money and playing on your fears then??
'Do the Oil change in a special way, cos these cars are special' - WTF??
The Oil Change according to the Old Ladies on here:-
1. Remove Oil Filler Cap, 'gently' - take at least 5 minutes or the threads will strip and the exhaust will fall off in a weeks time.
2. Carefully jack up the front of car, make sure that only the 'special' car jacking points are used or the steering wheel will be upside down next time you see it (the special jack points are only known to a select few, not the main dealers!)
3. Locate the Sump Plug, do this using an Inspection Lamp with a 100W bulb - do not, under any circumstances, use a bulb of lower wattage or the splash cover under the engine will melt and pieces will be sucked up into the MAF and then immediate engine failure will occur.
4. Undo Sump Plug whilst humming 'Oil Be Home For Xmas' - do NOT sing any other song or the Radio will never tune into any local stations again and the aerial will need to be replaced at the next service.
5. Allow Oil to drain into a Tupperware Perspex Jug - use only perspex as other plastics react with the old oil and particles travel back through the draining oil and attack the Big-End Bearings.
6. Whilst Oil is draining run around car 15 times in a Morris Dancing Outfit with the special Subaru bells attached to shoes.
7. Remove Oil Filter by unscrewing anti-clockwise 5 times, then clockwise 2 times, continue until filter is free ..... failure to do this will result in the new Filter not filling up with Oil on start-up.
8. Fill Oil Filter with Oil and screw new Oil Filter on and replace Sump Plug - there is some discussion about the order that these need to be replaced, many an evening in a B.O. smelling corner of a dark pub has been spent mulling over the merits of both choices ..... there is a 'special' way, but we are not sure what it is yet.
9. Start filling the engine with Oil - Synthetic only please!! and of course, Subarus need 'special' Oil - Mobil made a 'special' Oil just for us!!
10. Now it gets complicated, the engine start procedure ...... remove the spark plugs, coil packs and battery - remove the seats and rear boot/tailgate - ensure Octane Booster is removed from tank as it might spontaneously start the car when you are not ready - take the drive belts off - turn engine over, s....l....o....w....l....y - engine should be turned over at least 67 times to ensure adequate Oil film coverage.
11. Return all components and start engine whilst whistling the theme tune to TITANIC ................ if you are VERY lucky the engine will not shoot a con-rod through the block (this normally happens to MY96 cars which are MicaPink in colour) - but ALL Model Years can be affected equally as bad.
12. If the engine started without any problems, then don't be smug as the MAF sensor will blow up your engine within 3 days in any case!!!!!
OR, do as the Main Dealers do:-
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
'A dealer told me that MAFs should be replaced every service' - I see, nowt to do with fleecing you for more money and playing on your fears then??
'Do the Oil change in a special way, cos these cars are special' - WTF??
The Oil Change according to the Old Ladies on here:-
1. Remove Oil Filler Cap, 'gently' - take at least 5 minutes or the threads will strip and the exhaust will fall off in a weeks time.
2. Carefully jack up the front of car, make sure that only the 'special' car jacking points are used or the steering wheel will be upside down next time you see it (the special jack points are only known to a select few, not the main dealers!)
3. Locate the Sump Plug, do this using an Inspection Lamp with a 100W bulb - do not, under any circumstances, use a bulb of lower wattage or the splash cover under the engine will melt and pieces will be sucked up into the MAF and then immediate engine failure will occur.
4. Undo Sump Plug whilst humming 'Oil Be Home For Xmas' - do NOT sing any other song or the Radio will never tune into any local stations again and the aerial will need to be replaced at the next service.
5. Allow Oil to drain into a Tupperware Perspex Jug - use only perspex as other plastics react with the old oil and particles travel back through the draining oil and attack the Big-End Bearings.
6. Whilst Oil is draining run around car 15 times in a Morris Dancing Outfit with the special Subaru bells attached to shoes.
7. Remove Oil Filter by unscrewing anti-clockwise 5 times, then clockwise 2 times, continue until filter is free ..... failure to do this will result in the new Filter not filling up with Oil on start-up.
8. Fill Oil Filter with Oil and screw new Oil Filter on and replace Sump Plug - there is some discussion about the order that these need to be replaced, many an evening in a B.O. smelling corner of a dark pub has been spent mulling over the merits of both choices ..... there is a 'special' way, but we are not sure what it is yet.
9. Start filling the engine with Oil - Synthetic only please!! and of course, Subarus need 'special' Oil - Mobil made a 'special' Oil just for us!!
10. Now it gets complicated, the engine start procedure ...... remove the spark plugs, coil packs and battery - remove the seats and rear boot/tailgate - ensure Octane Booster is removed from tank as it might spontaneously start the car when you are not ready - take the drive belts off - turn engine over, s....l....o....w....l....y - engine should be turned over at least 67 times to ensure adequate Oil film coverage.
11. Return all components and start engine whilst whistling the theme tune to TITANIC ................ if you are VERY lucky the engine will not shoot a con-rod through the block (this normally happens to MY96 cars which are MicaPink in colour) - but ALL Model Years can be affected equally as bad.
12. If the engine started without any problems, then don't be smug as the MAF sensor will blow up your engine within 3 days in any case!!!!!
OR, do as the Main Dealers do:-
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
Very good Pete. One thing that does show though is that you have obvioulsy read all the threads coving these subjects at some point or another even if you don;t buy into it yourself
13 April 2005, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by New_scooby_04
Paging David at API engines: your services may be required for one PS Lewis soon!
Seriously, It is worth doing the oil change the careful way, as it DOES make a positive difference.
Otherwise I enjoyed the PS Lewis oil change sequence.
Good Luck !!
David APi Impreza / APi Engines
www.apiengines.com
13 April 2005, 03:28 PM
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Funny because its so true.Especially cranking with the Crank sensor disconneted.. Most oil pumps on many cars DO NOT PRIME whilst being cranked on the starter...it just turns over far too slowely to purge the air (thus why the oil pressure light takes ages to go out). And infact you could do more damage as the cranking will remove any oil film left on the bearings, so they run completely dry (not good).
And a few more:
Subaru Specialists job to change the cambelt...oh how hard and specialised that is
. It is is one of the very few cars out there that actually are a doddle to change (unlike a mondeo for example).Subaru specialists must be used to setup and check the supension geometry - oh for crying out loud any garage with good 4 wheel laser alignment equipment can do it. The car has Mc-pherson struts on the front - exactly like almost every single other front wheel drive car on the road (except the odd one like a Nissan primera - now that's a far superior suspension system
). Rear is double wishbone, strange that, Nissan Sunnys have that too, as do Rover 216/414 (old shape). Specialised??? oh come on!You MUST run your UK model Impreza on Optimax or SUL, you'll melt pistons if you use normal unleaded (probably advice mistaken for imported models wich Do require it). Where the handbook clearly states 95ron NUL is fine.
You must use genuine subaru filters and belts.....did you know that the Crossland oil filter is the exact same filter, its the same colour...even made in Japan. Why? Its the same filter! Subaru Belt or Gates belt, whats the difference? Just the box and the label!
But who am I to pass judgement eh?
The scaremongering that goes on this board sometimes is begger belief. I'm glad PS Lewis made a good point at how farcical it can sometimes be
13 April 2005, 03:53 PM
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Originally Posted by pslewis
OR, do as the Main Dealers do:-
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
. U think they are even arsed to check for drips !! No chance ROFL
13 April 2005, 04:28 PM
#28
Isn't the Internet a great thing? You get to send the **** up the gullible with some well placed phrases ......... 'MAFs go regular' HORROR, SHOCK!
'A dealer told me that MAFs should be replaced every service' - I see, nowt to do with fleecing you for more money and playing on your fears then??
'Do the Oil change in a special way, cos these cars are special' - WTF??
The Oil Change according to the Old Ladies on here:-
1. Remove Oil Filler Cap, 'gently' - take at least 5 minutes or the threads will strip and the exhaust will fall off in a weeks time.
2. Carefully jack up the front of car, make sure that only the 'special' car jacking points are used or the steering wheel will be upside down next time you see it (the special jack points are only known to a select few, not the main dealers!)
3. Locate the Sump Plug, do this using an Inspection Lamp with a 100W bulb - do not, under any circumstances, use a bulb of lower wattage or the splash cover under the engine will melt and pieces will be sucked up into the MAF and then immediate engine failure will occur.
4. Undo Sump Plug whilst humming 'Oil Be Home For Xmas' - do NOT sing any other song or the Radio will never tune into any local stations again and the aerial will need to be replaced at the next service.
5. Allow Oil to drain into a Tupperware Perspex Jug - use only perspex as other plastics react with the old oil and particles travel back through the draining oil and attack the Big-End Bearings.
6. Whilst Oil is draining run around car 15 times in a Morris Dancing Outfit with the special Subaru bells attached to shoes.
7. Remove Oil Filter by unscrewing anti-clockwise 5 times, then clockwise 2 times, continue until filter is free ..... failure to do this will result in the new Filter not filling up with Oil on start-up.
8. Fill Oil Filter with Oil and screw new Oil Filter on and replace Sump Plug - there is some discussion about the order that these need to be replaced, many an evening in a B.O. smelling corner of a dark pub has been spent mulling over the merits of both choices ..... there is a 'special' way, but we are not sure what it is yet.
9. Start filling the engine with Oil - Synthetic only please!! and of course, Subarus need 'special' Oil - Mobil made a 'special' Oil just for us!!
10. Now it gets complicated, the engine start procedure ...... remove the spark plugs, coil packs and battery - remove the seats and rear boot/tailgate - ensure Octane Booster is removed from tank as it might spontaneously start the car when you are not ready - take the drive belts off - turn engine over, s....l....o....w....l....y - engine should be turned over at least 67 times to ensure adequate Oil film coverage.
11. Return all components and start engine whilst whistling the theme tune to TITANIC ................ if you are VERY lucky the engine will not shoot a con-rod through the block (this normally happens to MY96 cars which are MicaPink in colour) - but ALL Model Years can be affected equally as bad.
12. If the engine started without any problems, then don't be smug as the MAF sensor will blow up your engine within 3 days in any case!!!!!
OR, do as the Main Dealers do:-
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
'A dealer told me that MAFs should be replaced every service' - I see, nowt to do with fleecing you for more money and playing on your fears then??
'Do the Oil change in a special way, cos these cars are special' - WTF??
The Oil Change according to the Old Ladies on here:-
1. Remove Oil Filler Cap, 'gently' - take at least 5 minutes or the threads will strip and the exhaust will fall off in a weeks time.
2. Carefully jack up the front of car, make sure that only the 'special' car jacking points are used or the steering wheel will be upside down next time you see it (the special jack points are only known to a select few, not the main dealers!)
3. Locate the Sump Plug, do this using an Inspection Lamp with a 100W bulb - do not, under any circumstances, use a bulb of lower wattage or the splash cover under the engine will melt and pieces will be sucked up into the MAF and then immediate engine failure will occur.
4. Undo Sump Plug whilst humming 'Oil Be Home For Xmas' - do NOT sing any other song or the Radio will never tune into any local stations again and the aerial will need to be replaced at the next service.
5. Allow Oil to drain into a Tupperware Perspex Jug - use only perspex as other plastics react with the old oil and particles travel back through the draining oil and attack the Big-End Bearings.
6. Whilst Oil is draining run around car 15 times in a Morris Dancing Outfit with the special Subaru bells attached to shoes.
7. Remove Oil Filter by unscrewing anti-clockwise 5 times, then clockwise 2 times, continue until filter is free ..... failure to do this will result in the new Filter not filling up with Oil on start-up.
8. Fill Oil Filter with Oil and screw new Oil Filter on and replace Sump Plug - there is some discussion about the order that these need to be replaced, many an evening in a B.O. smelling corner of a dark pub has been spent mulling over the merits of both choices ..... there is a 'special' way, but we are not sure what it is yet.
9. Start filling the engine with Oil - Synthetic only please!! and of course, Subarus need 'special' Oil - Mobil made a 'special' Oil just for us!!
10. Now it gets complicated, the engine start procedure ...... remove the spark plugs, coil packs and battery - remove the seats and rear boot/tailgate - ensure Octane Booster is removed from tank as it might spontaneously start the car when you are not ready - take the drive belts off - turn engine over, s....l....o....w....l....y - engine should be turned over at least 67 times to ensure adequate Oil film coverage.
11. Return all components and start engine whilst whistling the theme tune to TITANIC ................ if you are VERY lucky the engine will not shoot a con-rod through the block (this normally happens to MY96 cars which are MicaPink in colour) - but ALL Model Years can be affected equally as bad.
12. If the engine started without any problems, then don't be smug as the MAF sensor will blow up your engine within 3 days in any case!!!!!
OR, do as the Main Dealers do:-
Change Oil - start engine - check for Oil drips - return to customer!!
Pete
, but what are/is MAF/S?????
13 April 2005, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted by BillyBong
This is the part I find funniest . U think they are even arsed to check for drips !! No chance ROFL
. U think they are even arsed to check for drips !! No chance ROFL 
luckily i'd only been driving around with it like that for 2 days
main dealers, can't beat them
